Two Kinds of Beautiful
by jada jasmine
Summary: Nate Archibald's life had always been ruled by two kinds of beauty. The greatest tragedy was that he never seemed able to pick between them.


**A/N. I am obsessed with Gossip Girl. The TV show. But I really only ever want to read angsty stuff that contradicts with their seemingly perfect lives. I'm having a lot of difficulty finding more so I'm writing one myself. Hope you enjoy.**

**Two Kinds of Beautiful.**

Nate Archibald's life had always been ruled by two kinds of beautiful. Two enthralling, spell-binding, unbelievable types of beautiful.

They were there constantly, always by his side, and he could instantly sense which beauty's presence was which.

There was the china doll.

The fragile, untouchable type of beauty that almost scared him, afraid that she would break under his hands. The vulnerable, broken beauty who painted her lips red and curled her hair brown. The beauty that was flawless, but mostly because of strong insecurity. The beauty who was broken, and showed the world by heaving painfully over the smooth porcelain bowl that so resembled her skin.

There was the sunshine.

The outgoing, vivacious beauty who could light the room up with her smile. The beautiful girl with the golden hair from every story you've ever heard. The beauty who actually did have diamonds in her navy blue eyes. The beauty who had worn a trash bag as a joke, and still looked breathtaking.The beauty who could put a smile on her face to cover the crack in her heart. The beauty who would fall.

How was any guy supposed to resist even one of them? How was it possible for him to resist both?

It wasn't.

So Nate dated the china doll, he kissed her, promised her the world, told her he loved her. He took the fragile girl to parties, presented her with the correct jewelry, used her to help his father.

But when he kissed her with his eyes open, he always kept one on the sunshine in his life. When he told her he loved her, he imagined he was telling Serena. He would take the curly girl to parties, but with the girl dressed in yellow.

Nate was tragically in love with both kinds of beautiful, so he led them on, thinking he could have two types that aren't supposed to mix.

They're supposed to be treated like the one of a kind beauty they each were, not something to mix and match to your own tastes.

But Nate didn't know this.

He turned to the sunshine girl when he needed it the most, in a bedroom at just fifteen. Too much emotion, too much heat, and still no decision made.

He held the breakable girl in his arms after the act was done, zoning out as he thought about the infidelity that he had committed. Still he had no nerve to tell her anything.

By leading the two on, Nate Archibald slowly destroyed the two exquisite beauty.

The sunshine in his life, the excitement, the fun turned to drinking. She drank and drank and drank and drank until her head was over the toilet, the only overlapping between to the two girls. While Nate paraded around with her best friend, the perfect girl with the not-so-perfect life slept with guy after guy, trying to find a band-aid for the crack that kept growing bigger in her heart.

Eventually, her heart broke and she ran. She ran to boarding school, away from her friends and problems. She returned and still he was with the girl not a hair out of place. She ran into the arms of Dan Humphrey, and away from Nate Archibald.

The poise, the properness, the love kept hurting herself. Nate imagined her as she rose from the chair after every meal, practically seeing her shake as she expelled all food from her body. He felt her frame getting thinner and thinner, and even thought that she would snap if he hugged her anymore. But then the diamonds and the sunshine would get to him, and he so he remained silent.

When she had found out about her supposed best friend and the love of her life, she broke. She ran into the arms of Chuck Bass, and away from Nate Archibald.

The girl who was always happy, and the girl who never seemed to be happy enough had been ripped apart by Nate Archibald. The girls who never really should've been friends, but actually had managed it, didn't even try to pick up the pieces of the Nate mess. So he had destroyed that two.

Alone and confused, Nate had settled for a third type of beautiful.

He settled for copied outfits and perfectly highlighted hair, instead of original red tights and natural gold locks. He settled for the girl who carefully composed herself after other's being original, instead of trying it for herself. He settled for the girl who knew that she would always stand in the way of two real beauties, who tried to shut the voice up who told her that, because she was here and they weren't.

He had berry lips and orange dresses, but he wanted ruby red lips and bright yellow back.

He had settled for the imitation, because he had lost the real thing.

**A/N. I loved this story. And to my Shoebox of Photography fans, the next chapter is thisclose to being down. Should be up in two days. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW.**


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